"If you say go, I will go"

If You say go, we will go
If You say wait, we will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You

This song was sung my 10th grade year at youth camp at Falls Creek. Jeff Berry's band would play this song throughout the whole week - it was the theme song. This song is very important to me because God used this time when Jeff Berry was playing one night at camp to reaffirm my call into the ministry. Two years before, I had been called into the ministry when I was at Falls Creek, but I had some doubts about my calling and God reaffirmed my calling my sophomore year. God used this song to reaffirm my calling. The reason I even go into this is because my itunes was playing yesterday and this song came on. I had not heard this song in forever. I had actually forgotten about it. My itunes is messed up and for some reason this song was not with the Jeff Berry CD on my itunes it was just untitled song 13 in some random part of my Itunes. When I heard this song yesterday, I knew the Lord was speaking to me. He was reminding me of my calling. He had used a song so many years ago and he used it again yesterday to encourage me. Actually, not just this song but God has done so much in the past weeks and especially past days to encourage me. To be honest, I am going through a very hard time personally not for one specific reason, I don't say this to complain just to be honest. I know that a huge part is spiritual warfare and letting the most important thing go in my life of spending time with my Savior. I definitely feel like I am in the pit, in the darkness, BUT I am not without Hope, I know Jesus is right here with me through all of this and He is teaching me, growing me, and making me depend on Him (which I am really bad at). I always try to depend on myself and I fall every time. I just wanted to write about some ways that God has used people lately to really bless my heart and show that He is working things together for my good.

First of all DBU decided to put a story about us in the DBU report magazine. It came out this week, and I have gotten so many encouraging notes from people as a result of people reading that article. Wow, God is so sovereign and His timing is perfect! In recent days and weeks God has really used several different friends writing me notes to just encourage me at the exact perfect time that I needed it. I can't even explain how timely people's messages to me have been. It is like God has just been flooding me with encouragement lately from people back in the states. I even got a letter in the mail a few weeks ago, my first letter ever in Peru. Today, I got a text message from a Peruvian. I knew God was working when a Peruvian wrote me basically just encouraging me in my work here for the Lord. Peruvians don't really understand what we face everyday as Christan missionaries in another country, so I knew to get a text message from a Peruvian was purely God working to lift my spirit. My mom the other day sent me a skype message that was filled with lyrics to some songs that she had found that were exactly how I was feeling. I have had two really good friends and my parents just let me cry on skype with them in the past few days. They have shown me great compassion. Nancy has been an AMAZING missionary to work with. She has so picked up the slack during this time of my life. Also, a great friend of mine a couple of weeks ago decided to come see us and she will be here tomorrow! She was going to come in October but found a great ticket for this week. Another act of God's perfect timing because I know God is going to use Raechel Kirby to encourage us so much. She is a single Christian girl that is a missionary in the states, and it is going to be so good to spend almost 2 weeks with a someone our age that is going through this life stage with us just in another country. I also read a beautiful verse today in the Psalms that says this: “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul” I also have seen God answering a huge prayer that I have had for months during this time of wilderness. I know He is doing something right now that I am not even aware fully aware of. I want to thank all of you that faithfully encourage us and pray for us. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Sorry, I am horrible at writing back, I am going to try and start working on that. My point of writing this was just to get some of my thoughts out there and just show how FAITHFUL my God is. When I look back, it is incredible the things he has done through people, showing me this scripture today, speaking to me through songs. All Glory to Him! I know He is doing something, and He will bring me out of this valley that I am in, I am certain of that! Looking forward to the joy in the morning, but until then I just want to trust my Savior